Saturday, December 22, 2007

Crucifiction bending

I would like to know the message here:

Is it: "Christmas is about Jesus not Santa, so Santa must die"?

Or (and I know this is a bit of Da Vinci Code bending here): "Jesus so loved the world that he gave us his love-child with Mary Madelene and that child grew up to become Santa Clause and now he too must die"?

Or maybe: "Boy those Romans were sick bastards; they crucified some nice fellas."

Or maybe I am missing the point completely and the white beams were just the necessary buttresses behind creating "Flying in for a Hug" Santa Clause.

As it turns out, none of thee above.

Apparently Art Conrad, the creator of this lawn ornament, is making a statement about Christmas and consumerism. For those who wouldn't have picked up on that right away, Mr. Conrad has placed the words "Santa died for your MasterCard" under dying Santa. Still, I find the whole theology behind it a bit muddled. Is Mr. Conrad recommending crucifying Santa Clause as part of our road to recovering from our seasonal shopoholism? Or is Santa sacrificing himself for our consumerism sins? Is Santa a martyr or an unwanted rebel-rouser? Maybe the reason the theology behind the death of Santa Clause is so fuzzy is that the similar death of Jesus is fuzzy too.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Bible bending satellite images

How many times have you read about Moses parting the Red Sea and thought to yourself, "I wish I could see an aerial photograph of that?" Or thought about Adam and Eve and wished you could get a birds eye view of the two of them relaxing in Eden? And what about the crucification? Wouldn't that make a pretty picture?

Wonder no more. Thanks to the all-seeing Google Earth and the all-willing-to-cut-and-paste Glue Society, we now have satellite photos of biblical scenes:

such as Adam and Eve relaxing in Eden:

Noah's ark surrounded by flood waters:

Moses parting the Red Sea:

And Jesus on the crucifix:

Before you get too excited, you won't be able to buy these pictures for your loved ones this Christmas. The set was sold for $36,000 last week.

The Presidential Bible bending Christmas Card

The White House Christmas card features a verse from Nehemiah 9.6.
You alone are the LORD.
You made the heavens, even the highest heavens,
and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it,
the seas and all that is in them.
You give life to everything,
and the multitudes of heaven worship you.

Barbara Walters commented on "The View" that it was the most religious White House Christmas card that she has ever received.

UPDATE: Not to be out done, the Huckabee campaign has released this new commercial in which Huckabee tells his potential voters:
"Are you about worn out with all those TV commercials you've been seeing--mostly about politics? I don't blame you. At this time of year sometimes it's nice to pull aside all of that and remember that what really matters is the celebration of the birth of Christ, and being with our family and our friends. I hope that you and your family will have a magnificent Christmas season. And behalf of all of us, God Bless, and Merry Christmas."