Britney Spears under orders to read the Bible every day

It's all part of her earthly father's plan to keep her on the straight and narrow path and the Mirror thought we should know.

Britney Spears: Literalist?

Bible bending is so sneaky that sometimes no one notices except the wittiest of satirists.

Satirists such as Chris Kelly, a writer for television and a frequent contributor to Huffington Post, who had this to say about Britney Spears last words to the LA judge:

"And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth."

- Genesis 1:28

"Eat it, lick it, snort it, fuck it."

- Britney Spears

What's the problem? Give her her kids back.